Confidence

Definition:      “Confidence is an opinion of one’s ability to perform a particular activity based on past experiences”

The traditional definition of the word confidence leads to temporary mental states, which fluctuate dependent on external factors.  These external factors are constantly changing and as a result, a player’s confidence comes and goes with alarming regularity.  If a point, game or match is won, the competitor feels confident, but following a loss confidence vanishes.  The challenge is to find a way to hold onto this precious commodity, which is universally associated with peak athletic performance.  

Now you see it…now you don’t!

The case of Agassi in the 1994 Wimbledon semi-final against Becker is a typical example.  Agassi, playing great tennis, had dismantled everyone in his path to get to this stage of the tournament and had out-played Becker 6-1 in the first set and was leading 4-1 in the second before he inexplicably lost his “confidence," after missing a few shots in a row. 

How incredulous is this?  Is confidence granted by Grace, given

and taken at will, at the whim of an unknown power or are we simply building castles on sand by attaching the source of our confidence to erroneous objects? 

The trap

Most people’s confidence is based on external factors that relate to a particular situation as opposed to internal factors that permeate a person’s entire being.  An example of this occurred recently, when I went to a tournament to watch a student of mine play:

Mike was a highly ranked junior in the East who had always displayed match-play symptoms of, fear, anxiety and tightness.  In his first match he was not at his best, but he pulled the match out more because of his opponent’s inconsistency than any brilliant tennis on his part. 

In our analysis after the match, I tried to pick out a few key points that I thought might help him in the few hours before his next match.  In these situations I primarily focus on relaxing the student and removing any self-created obstacles to peak performance.  Very rarely do I focus on technique, since I believe this is best worked on in practice, since it generally takes time for the student to assimilate technical changes without conscious thought (in other words effortlessly and smoothly).  However, Mike was having a particularly hard time with his serve and I shared with him the transgression I had observed.

When Mike went out for his second match I could see that he was clearly looser and playing without the anxiety I had seen earlier.  In addition, he had made the adjustment on his serve and was now hitting the ball harder and more consistently than before. 

Mike lost that match and came off the court disappointed.  One of the first things he remarked to me was that he had not served well.  I asked him why he felt that way and he replied because he had not won many free points off his serve.  In other words, Mike had no independent sense of how he served, his opponent on this day had returned particularly well and so Mike thought he served poorly.  If his opponent had been weaker and not returned as well, Mike would have thought he served much better. 

This was an extremely revealing answer because it showed that Mike’s perception of how he served was based not on his ability but on the ability of his opponent to return the serve.  This simple example is an indicator of a plethora of ills.  One of which is that as problematic as it is to base confidence on the way I play (because I have no control over it-nobody chooses to play poorly, but sometimes it happens anyway), it is a great deal more questionable to base my confidence on the way my opponent plays.  And yet, this is happening all the time.  We win a match and feel confident, but is the winning an indicator of our ability or our opponents’?  Undoubtedly, both.  However, either source of confidence will ultimately lead to dissatisfaction.       

If confidence is that transient, how can it be a desired state?  If we can tap into that emotional state from which an individual can feel good about himself despite losing a match or playing badly, we will have happy, well-adjusted tennis players, who will be giving themselves the best opportunity to play to their maximum potential all the time.  This can only occur if individuals do not identify whom they are with how they play or what they do and thus avoid falling prey to the fluctuations inherent in feeling good about themselves when they win and bad when they lose.

Pure Presence

Confidence is not an entity to be gained, but a natural state that is lost through the presence of fear.  In the ideal competitive state, there is no awareness of either confidence or lack of confidence; there is simply pure presence.  On a conscious level when the competitor is in present focus there is an awareness of the ball and nothing else and confidence is a non-issue.   Both the lack of confidence and confidence, itself, are psychological states to be avoided because both are illusionary; illusionary because they are temporary states and one will necessarily lead to another.  If one surfaces, the other will not be too far behind.  Neither can have an independent existence: they are inextricably connected.  One can not exist without the other; they both have to be transcended.   

Too many people are on emotional roller coasters, on which

they carry the burdens of the past.  If the past was good, their experience will provide them with false bravado.  False, because it is transitory and will only last until the next error or lost match.  

An essential feature of confidence if it is to be a valuable concept, is a more enduring quality.  It has to be based on and anchored to something more solid and lasting.

Avoiding Judgment

The fact is that confidence is connected to the result, a judgment of how we feel about ourselves.  If we can avoid judging ourselves, which means not thinking we are good when we win or bad when we lose, we can perhaps avoid the never-ending cycle of ups and downs that judgment is heir to.  How do we avoid judgment?  By being so involved or absorbed in the process that judgment simply does not exist.  If I miss a shot, I miss a shot; to conclude negative thoughts about myself is beyond what is.  Similarly, if I hit a winner, there is no need to conclude anything more than that the opponent did not return the shot and I won the point.  To use that information, to feel better about myself is to stretch what is.  Reality is what is happening, for an event to boost confidence is my interpretation of that event; it has absolutely nothing to do with the event itself. 

Ultimately, false confidence is about attachment to events and identifying our sense of who we are, our ego, with the event.  When we can see all situations as they are, without attachment and in equanimity we will have transcended the fluctuating emotional states that are the bane of our existence.

          Finally I wish to contrast the traditional definition of confidence with the following: the ability to feel secure within oneself regardless of fluctuating external circumstances.  This feeling good about oneself can only manifest with an understanding of or by identification with, our essential self. 

We should also be aware of the power inherent in feeling good about ourselves or being confident.  It is an extremely powerful state that is probably the most potent factor in determining if we will reach our full potential both on the court and off.  Ultimately, it is the power of love.  Loving and accepting ourselves for who we and exactly as we are allows us to perform freely and to express ourselves in the purest possible way.  This acceptance of who we are at this moment in time facilitates a natural and supremely wise growth process that allows change to manifest effortlessly and perfectly.